Two years ago I married this fine fellow Braden Lamb! As with most creative couples we took our invitations VERY SERIOUSLY.
Hey pulpatoon, is this you?
This is the invitation to the wedding of two professional cartoonists, so I suspect this was the work of one or both of them
Not that I’m judging if they have some kind of polyamorous triad with Joel
Good News! My wife has given me permission to “go for it!”
Weird that this even needs to be said, but, apparently, this needs to be said.
Is this the greatest collaboration ever? Original art from the 1974 San Diego Comicon program book featuring contributions from Charles Schulz, Jack Kirby and Russell Myers.
I’m going to end the “If I Wrote…” series of Shazam Family scripts here, although I’ve got a few more in reserve. This is partly because they were only so reblogged/liked and partly because this one is the goddamn cheese, man.
Meet The Monster Society of Evil, possibly the first super-villain team in comics history, responsible for the first multi-issue years-long arc in comics history, and the possessor of the most hilariously insane roster of villains ever. Super-powered Nazis! Crocodile-Men! Evil Banjo musicians! Cave Men! WICKED WORMS!
More than anything, I’m proud of this one because I wrote THE OFFICIAL ANTHEM OF THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL. It’s eminently singable, but you have to do it mostly in a Tom Waits voice. I’ve wrecked my throat bellowing this in the car more times than I can count.
Okay, here we go!
If I Wrote … The Monster Society of Evil!
===============Panel One: The interior of the headquarters of the MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL! A tremendous hall with ceiling-high portraits of their most infamous (and currently absent, from this story anyway) members – Sivana, Mister Mind, Black Adam, etc. A tremendous conference table lines the middle of the floor, at the head of which KING KULL is speaking to the assembled crowd, mostly seated. The Society members in attendance include IBAC, SABBAC, CAPTAIN NAZI, a bunch of CROCODILE MEN (including HERKIMER the Crocodile Man), MISTER BANJO, and perhaps assorted creeps and monsters and many other assorted Shazam villains…Kull:
Gentlefiends, monsters, let’s settle down …
HEY! SHUT UP! OR I’LL EAT YOUR HEAD!
Panel Two: Full body on Kull at the head of the table, a few of the seated members can be seen around him. Everyone is beginning to singKull:
I call this meeting of the MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL to order!
Everyone please stand for our anthem!All (singing):
From subterranean empires to the marshy swamps of Venus
Come villains, creeps and ne’er-do-wells from every vicious genus…
Panel Three: Several monster members of the society – Crocodile Men, giant squids, satyrs, bat-people, whatever – stand in a row, singing…
…Of beast-man, worm and human wretch, and every one the meanest!
We’re evil but we boast variety!
We’re the Monster Society!
Among our ranks are villainy’s most influential and illustrious
We’re fervently dedicated and ceaselessly industrious.
Panel Four: The members continue to sing, raucously. Herkimer the Crocodile Man is at the bottom of the panel, speaking directly to the viewer…
Murder, theft and arson are all essential to our charter
Please consider contributing to our sinister Kickstarter
Herkimer the Crocodile Man (speaking, aside):
(For a twenty dollar pledge, we’ll burn your house down)
Panel Five: Kull leads the singing as MISTER BANJO and CAPTAIN NAZI take up prominent positions in the panel for the purpose of singing their lines.
In certain lights, our actions simply couldn’t be any purer
Mister Banjo (singing):
I’m picking and I’m grinning and I’m spying for der Fuhrer!
Some of us were only babes in arms when first we heard the call
Capt.Nazi (singing, holding a photo of himself as a speckly teen):
My high school yearbook photo was shot by Leni Riefenstahl!
Panel Six: Arm in arm like drunken buddies, a passel of the Monsters sing, Kull has the foreground for his line. Over their shoulders, a giant portrait of Hitler adorns the wall.
Our complaints are frankly justified, but no one wants to hear it
The Beast-Men ruled the Earth before the humans commandeered it!
Plus let’s send our love to Adolf, who is only here in spirit!
As we thumb our nose at righteous pietyWe’re the Monster Society!
Panel seven: A huge panel, finale, a long shot of all the society members singing merrily and loud …
So let’s fight and brawl and kick and scratch and raise a mighty ruckus!
Let us march to music broadcast from the planetoid of Punkus!
We’re the brainiest of wicked fiends, and none can match our brawn!
And we promise to give Captain Marvel nightmares from now on!
Tho we’re terrible, you must admit, we do it with aplomb
Why say it with flowers when you can use an atom bomb?
We’re wretched, antisocial jerks, but we all still love our moms!
Someone in the crowd, ideally a Crocodile Man (speaking):
(Luv ya, ma!)
And we’ll destroy that rotten Marvel Family
We’re the MONSTERRRR SO-CI-E-TEEEEEE!
Going back through old entries, I found this script I wrote for a Monster Society of Evil two-pager, complete with The Monster Society of Evil theme song. I’d forgotten all about it, even though it took me a week of muttering potential song lyrics while walking the dog to figure it out!
An important cultural artifact-to-be.
The last comics kickstarter I posted was Dean Trippe’s Something Terrible, and that turned out to be pretty awesome, right?
I’d like to encourage you to check out the kickstarter for Outcasts of Jupiter. It’s produced by the Coker siblings, who aren’t a known quantity in the comics world, but are very accomplished in a number of comics-adjacent fields. I knew them when they were students, and have kept sporadic contact with them since, and, let me tell you, they have talent and brains to spare.
Check it out, and support it if you like what you see! Or just support it as a favor to me, because I want one of those T-shirts.
They’re really good.